I like it.
There's your attraction.
Teddy, you remember The Deepening, right?
Remember it? I was in it.
Some of us locals worked on that movie.
I was Handsome Lifeguard #3.
Really? Seriously?
Yeah, what?
It's kind of hard to picture the "before."
Bob. LOUISE: Guys,
the shark is for sale. What?! The shark?
A prop house is selling the actual mechanical shark
and they're ready to deal.
The actual shark?
Oh, wow, Mr. Fischoeder, you've got to get that shark.
no, come on.
Teddy, yes. You worked on the movie,
you should be excited about this.
Why, Teddy?
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, that's one vote for yes and one cryptic vote for no.
Let's run it past the focus group.
Five-holer-- nostrils, too.
Sounds like a winner.
Teddy, what is wrong with you?
Can I get a new ketchup, please?
He chewed more scenery than Nicolas Cage.
He really chewed it... with his shark teeth.
(mic feedback screeches)
(forced laughter)
Ha, ha, ha! Louise, stop.
Hey, I see Bob Belcher.
All this was his idea.
I know what you're thinking.
That guy?
Yes, the guy with the, uh, food place.
Thank you. It's a restaurant.
It's called Bob's... Now...
please welcome champion water skier
and shark attack survivor Kristi Sanducci.
I'd like to thank the jackass
who got the left-handed scissors.
Always professional.
Now, the real star of The Deepening 3D-eeepening--
the... shark.
BOB: Whoo-hoo, shark, yeah!
someone has not aged well.
What a butterface.
We've filled her up with diesel,
now let's see what she can do.
So that one does that.
Let's see what this one does.
Thank you, God.
Woop, wrong one... (stammering)... oh, here we...
Oh, boy. Yes, yes, all part of the fun.
Can someone pass my arm back up here?
Give me that, Louise-- we've got to give it back.
No way! I caught it!
It's like the bouquet at a wedding.
I'm going to get bit next!
You having fun?
I wasn't-- I...
Wow, she's good with that thing.
She can do that and park anywhere she wants.
And so it begins.
Why are we watching a movie about a fake shark
when we could be at Wonder Wharf
standing next to the real fake shark?
Because this is how I want to remember the shark--
Fischoeder is crazy to keep that thing going.
After what happened to that girl's arm
and that lady's poor dog and that guy's balls--
you know, the juggler. Oh, yeah,
with all those people lining up,
paying to see it, buying souvenirs.
Nothing good can come from that shark.
It's evil.
Oh, there I am again.
That's me in the red, white, and blue trunks.
What's everybody looking at?
Nothing. Nothing.
Your body.